evolution of wooldancer.. my journey

Many times I struggle between the two most important aspects to my life : my 3 beautiful children & my creativity (all creative products of my own self i should add). It seems apparent that as soon as I relent to a strong urge to honour my creativity by listing new items on etsy, my children seem to need me more (or should i say holler for me more). This is not a new realization, but one that became evident when i first began wooldancer.etsy.com 2 years ago when my twins were only 1 year old.

I was often asked what it's like bringing up twins, & my favourite answer was 'like keeping your head above water in a storm'. I was being pushed & pulled from every possible mental, emotional, physical direction, and coming up for air only due to the simple act of survival for my two babies.. i desperately needed some space in daily life (& still do!): to not breastfeed all day long, to not have to make more food again, to be able to go for a walk by myself at a faster-than-toddler pace.. just a little space for me to punch some prana into my Self. The quiet space for resuming my yoga practice was impossible to achieve with 3 children under 3years old to care for, so i needed something i could do while my bubbies were sleeping and my 3year old was having "quiet" time.

I honed my spinning skills and instantly found the healing qualities of the craft to fulfill a creative inner-need and a physical need for balance as well. As I spun yarn, I thought about something i learned during my study for steiner school Craft Teaching Certificate, which reflected upon craft related activities, namely knitting, as healing for the mind. The concept is this:

The use of both hands working simultaneously works on both halves of the brain,
right & left hemispheres working in unison,
effectively promoting a balanced mind.

I considered this to translate to the craft of spinning also, & concluded as the feet are also involved, spinning had to be even better for promoting BALANCE for the body & mind than knitting! I am sure many spinners would agree, & even without that knowledge you feel calmer after a good spin-session! a perfect remedy to the throes of motherhood..

Needless to say i was hooked on spinning, & somehow wooldancer.etsy.com naturally evolved as I had a lot of yarn, & i confess I chose to use my "spare time" to make thread, above making things from it. Wooldancer gave my yarn surplus a home, and as my sales began to pick-up so did my need for production output. How I longed to be able to call this my full-time job, & list on etsy multiple times every day as some other yarnies who were not mothers could (no i'm not the jealous kind)!.. Like most fiberistas i love the entire process from choosing the fibers, washing, dyeing, preparing etc.. It takes me back to my photo-lab days at uni in the darkroom, creating magical colours with chemicals & silver-gelatin in the darkroom - only with textiles you get create magic in daylight!

Now with a mini-business, I suddenly became even more responsible to my time-limited creative space & inner outlet. No matter how much I pushed to get product in store, my children called me louder. I savour my moonlit hours for my crafting, and try to be as present for my littlies by sunlight as humanely possible. It is not always easy, especially working with global time-differences! I imagine many WAHM's who have etsy stores or websites feel the same way: that we are always striving to validate what we are doing with our creativity is "justifiable" (indeed one of the reasons i have a shop).

Not long ago a friend who is also a customer of mine said to me that because we, mothers, value our time so highly, we utilize our space (time) well and churn out better product for it. I like to think that each yarn I make is finely tuned & crafted from the impulse that I am making something new in the world that has an inherent beauty, is useful, admirable, and a reflection of my inner experience in one way or other..

Consider this: handspun yarn (or indeed artworks of every kind) is born from our own creative blueprint: the aura of individuality that imbibes our creative products with our unique fingerprint, and shall never be born again. The sense of care I have for the products I make is how I care for my own flesh.. & while there are not enough of my hand-crafted products to be listed regularly (read: every day on etsy), it is this sense of hand & heart-crafted quality reflected in my yarns & fibers. Each one brings me a new-found joyous & rhythmic journey, and is a little time-capsule or snapshot of a moment in my life.

Finding Balance in one's life is like tightrope walking. I do not know many people who tread the rope of 'time' in a balanced way without feeling the need to stop & apologize for our slipping, wobbling & falling off. It is often our own sense of responsibility to always have one foot in front of the other that we pressure ourselves when we don't.. & yet in truth, life is fickle like that! We will always feel it out, like you feel the quirkiness of each different fiber in this yarn : some sections are smooth, others are lumpy & all are as perfect as they are in their own way. To 'Trust', well that is the key.

When you see new listings in my store, know that the universe has been on my side, that the clouds have parted, that my kids are sleeping well, and that Balance has been kind to me for a little moment in time. All yarns are priced accordingly - as much as Balance is very hard to put a value on - as is balancing twins on two knees while i spin!!
oh, & Next time you buy some handcrafted yarn, see if you can feel a sense of the 'moment' in which it was created, the journey along the yarn-thread of the maker - it is the connections we seek when buying handmade that hold us up.